It’s been a very eventful month….

It’s been a while since I posted here.  I’ve logged in and started several entries, but changed my mind.  I was not in the frame of mind to sound anything but discouraged and I do not want people contemplating amputation to think it’s not worth it.  It is worth it.  Relieving their pain, giving them more pain free time, it’s worth it, despite the bumps along the way.

It’s been six weeks since Mads had her surgery and she’s had some challenges, but she’s plowed thru them like the brave soul she is.  She had kennel cough (that’s why she was so winded) from her stay at the hospital.  She felt crappy and wouldn’t eat or drink much, so she was losing weight.  She ended up with a UTI and then she had a seroma which really took her down.  Normally that wouldn’t happen, but because it went undiagnosed and festered for 5 days she got worse and worse and worse, eventually getting to the point she would cry out when she tried to move her head or neck.

During all these ailments, the doctors blamed her cancer.  Every symptom, to them, meant the cancer had spread until eventually the seroma burst open at the weakest point of her incision.  Wow what a huge mess.  But almost immediately she was back to being Maddie.  Pain free, hoping around, tail wagging and giving big, sloppy Great Dane kisses!  She has more energy and wants to romp in the yard.  She even tried to dig!  We are still leash walking her because we have to deal with the leaking seroma and have to limit her activity.  But she sure seems to be  feeling GREAT!  She’s eating like a fiend and she’s making up for all those days when all I could get into her was cottage cheese and yogurt.  She also seems to be missing her brother! He’s learned to live his new normal, separated from his best doggie buddy.  Now, when she hears him, she whines instead of growls!  I think that makes him happy as he wags and wags when he hears her.

We did not start chemo because she hasn’t been well enough.   At this point, I’m leaning more toward treating her homeopathically.  I have not been able to schedule a time with Dr. Loops – partly because I am constantly running Maddie back and forth to the vet and partly because I’m financially tapped out.  The large diagnostic and surgery expenses were bad, but we’ve had another two weeks of daily vet bills.  I’m very hopeful though that I can have a phone appointment with him next week, provided Maddie doesn’t need another surgery to put in a drain.  I’ve lost a lot of confidence in most of the docs at the ER/surgery center and if a drain is necessary, I’m going to try to find someone else to do it.  They examined her incision, made a note that it was hot and swollen, and still insisted it was cancer and not the incision making her sick.  Even I knew there was something not right with her incision site, but the doctors didn’t want to hear it because they were convinced it was her “very aggressive cancer”.

If I could pass on advice to anyone considering amputation for cancer, it would be two things.  First, go with your gut.  I knew Maddie’s cancer hadn’t spread but believing the doctors were experts, I gave in (mostly). Because I didn’t say “you’re wrong, I’m right and I want you to check that incision and find out why it’s hot and swollen”, Maddie suffered for five days.

If you think your dog or cat needs pain meds, insist.  Insist, insist, insist.  If you think that something isn’t right, be pushy.   You know your dog or cat better than the doctors do.  You know what is normal behavior for them.  Don’t be afraid to stand up for them and for yourself.  I wish I had done this better.  I look back on the whole drama from day one and think “if only I’d…..”.  But you can bet, going forward I will not make those mistakes again.

Now for the pluses of the last month.  Maddie has been xrayed, blood and urine tested, poked and prodded and guess what – she is metastasis free!  That all by itself makes the entire journey worth it.  She is feeling good, hopping around exploring the yard.  She’s not fast, but she’s steady which is what I think matters most.  She enjoys all her favorite things again: frozen yogurt, smelling the fall air, playing with her stuffies and snoring the day away laying in the sun.   She is learning to enjoy car rides (they are so frequent now!) and is not nearly as frightened at the vet’s office as she used to be.

All in all, I think we’re well on our way to a happy winter, spring and summer for Mads.